whole lotta nothin

this post isn't about anything in particular i just needed something to do i guess..ive been pushed to my limits lately with stress & its taking a toll on me..ive never had a normal sleep pattern & during stressful times it can go haywire & the last few weeks have been super stressful ..im becoming paranoid & it feels like as soon as i close my eyes something is right in my face & it causes me to open my eyes & check..this will go on anywhere from an hour to first light ..literally i ll watch the sun come up & that shortens my already short temper even more..on the rare occasions i go out i look at people & it seems like everyone is either tired or sad ..it seems like thats how someone/thing wants it ..just day after day of misery ..a friend pointed out how my life has been on a very slow decline for 5 years now..things just gradually get worse..nothing over the top like losing 4 members of your family in an accident but things like my injury & the daily pain ..then tickets my sister racked up in my car & house repairs & court cases that are open & close defying logic & going against me etc.......i love my family but to be honest if i had an off switch id hit it today ..